Chapter 13: Hell!
By DC Green | 02 November 2010
Page 1 of 3
The plan seemed perfect.
My twin sister Annie did such a good job of impersonating me so she could compete in the Cosmic Surf War on Planet Hell, she even fooled our ma. After Annie’s Round Four victory over Bi-Robot, a commentator gushed: ‘Zack Carver is surfing better than ever. Why, even his interview technique has improved!’
I grumbled. Stupid, observant commentator.
Annie ripped all the way to the final. On the opposite side of the draw, Darth Staker took a different path: a bloody path of murdering every surfer he faced, including Sharkina and local Doris Grrng. Vid-droids showed Ripaquikbong manager Daphne Grrng, roaring fire.
Watching the final from my hospital bed, I felt more nervous than when I had to surf against Darth myself.
‘She’ll be fine,’ Catbird gulped beside me.
‘Sure,’ I croaked.
And so it seemed. Annie’s first lava tube ride earned a blistering 9.75. Long before she flicked out, the commentators’ adjective-well babbled dry.
Darth’s first ride scored 7.75.
On Annie’s second wave, Darth pulled his materialisation drop-in trick. Annie appeared ready. Trapped against the flaming foam-ball, she braced behind her omnium shield.
Darth grated, ‘Living metal… obey your master!’
Annie gasped. Her shield liquefied.
Darth’s hand transformed into a whirring chainsaw.
I screamed at the holo-TV. ‘Not again! NO!’
I wanted to click off the holo-TV!
I couldn’t click off the holo-TV!!
Darth’s chainsaw hand coiled, ready to strike.
Annie leaned back.
Darth leaned forward.
Annie leaned wayyy back.
The lava tube thundered around them.
Behind her back, Annie’s hand formed a fist. She uppercut with such speed, Darth had no time to react. Slo-mo replays showed both her lava-suit and knuckle-skin splitting open at the moment of impact. Her knuckle-bones drove Darth’s jaw-plate north. His processing centre clicked and whirred.
Annie grimaced, and regained her balance.
Metal eyes glazed, Darth tumbled into the fiery foamball.