Dark Sparkes: Not All Good
By David Sparkes | 21 May 2012
Pos' guy calls it, "Perfect, dude!". Pes' guy calls it, "glorified close-out!" What do you see? All Pics: sparkesphoto
Well, I guess I semi-jinxed things with my last blog about the endless swell. It pretty much went flat the very next day, but the waves came back up not long after, so I don't know. I really try not to be negative, but sometimes I think the world at large, and people in general, get a bit too down on negativity. They get negative about negative people!
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in looking on the bright side, and being optimistic, and drinking from a glass half full and stuff. But every so often, I think it's psychologically healthy to get real when real means bad, and honestly smell the stink when reality isn't nice. Sometimes it isn't "all good". Sometimes, the mindless myopic enthusiasm and gushing happiness of some people becomes nauseatingly bland and shallow. In a way, a bit of frank cynicism is refreshing, and is probably proportionate to the level of intelligence; you don't find many dopey pessimists. Of course, over thinkers can and often do make themselves and their friends (if they have any left) miserable, but there is a place for people who will be brutally honest - and a time for them to be.
Ben Goodwin prepares to roll the dice off the top.
What surfers used to call "inconsistent" now parades around as "long period". What was once "closeout shit" is now described as "you have to pick the good ones". As for calling wave heights, that is becoming such a joke I'm finding it hard not to totally write off even some of my good friends. Some people are calling double overhead surf "4 foot". It's getting ridiculous, when someone tells me the surf is a certain size now I have absolutely no idea how big it really is. And let's be real, it is all about ego. Some surfers - no, many surfers - are so terrified of being called wusses or kooks by their mates that they just keep adding size to cover themselves. All they are doing is reinforcing their own insecurity. Relax boys, it's ok, we're generally not surfing 60 ft Jaws anyway so how about calming down a bit.
That's all pretty much insignificant fluff, it's not world changing and who really gives a shit about some fruity Squirrel overdoing the wave height thing? I don't, but it's interesting and devilishly delightful to tear down some of our temples of cool. Here's some deeper gear. There is just so much about how we live, particularly in the West, that is unsustainable and moronically head-in-the-sandist, for want of a better phrase. Like mindless breeding. Sure, everyone has the moral and social right as human beings to procreate, but can it really be justified in 2012 when there are over 100 million orphans already born and begging for a home? If the Australian Government is so frothing to increase our population (and make no mistake, they are), why don't they make adoption easier for Australian families? Why bother with ultra strict screening protocols for couples who are desperate for kids but biologically unable to have them, when 98% of people, including, let's face it, numerous imbeciles, can just have their own kids and abuse them at will?
Shaun Cansdell gets some serious height and a host of negative possibilities if he's to negotiate out safely.
It seems more logical to me to spread the world population load, which already exists, rather than run a paper thin argument of "oh it's not over populated in Australia, let's breed up a storm!" We can't feed the people that are already here, so it doesn't make sense to feverishly make more does it? Are people just so amazing that they can't stand the thought of not having a child that looks like them? I've got news for ya, "maybe you're not that awesome!" Ok I know that is getting a bit silly, but maybe it's not as silly as storming headlong into a future that won't be much fun for that little image of yours. If it's not throwing out the baby with the bath water, maybe it's throwing the baby into a life of totally depleted resources and a dead ocean, courtesy of our utterly unsustainably decadent Western lifestyle: “Welcome to the world junior, here’s an empty, barren rock, which your ancestors raped into oblivion for you – enjoy mate!”
As for global warming, that is something we definitely don’t have to worry about. Let’s not kid ourselves, stressing about it is over optimistic, since we won’t last long enough to have to deal with even moderate effects of rising sea levels anyway!
There are no negatives... Oh, wait? Is that an onshore wind starting to pick up? Damn it!
Let me admit right now that I'm not exactly on the deck of a Sea Shepherd boat, hammering down to Antarctica to rip into those arse hole whale hunters. I do all sorts shameful things that are helping to ruin the planet. I'm totally aware that every time I eat prawns - and I love them and eat them a lot - I'm supporting the rape and pillage of an industry that boasts an absolutely sinful by-catch ratio of around 14:1. How evil is that? 14 kilograms of dead sea creatures for that one measly kg of prawns! As for farmed prawns? They yield less net product than they take to produce.
We invented a supremely idiotic and insane economic model that demands greater profits every year forever, on a finite rock. That system we have all sold our souls for obviously can't go on forever, any more than an infinite number of people can fit onto a block of land, no matter how big.
"Give me a negative, and I'll raise you two positives." David 'Rasta' Rastovich is a glass half full sort of guy.
We are fighting greed and power and big money and utterly heartless corporate might, and our weapons are lethargy and cries of "what can we do?" and lame mantras like "it's all good!" Ahm, nah, it's not all good, but don't ask me for an answer. Maybe we're destined to let it play out as it will, and hope that our Mother Earth will get the shits and eventually just shake off the fleas. God knows that the planet has started from scratch at least 2 or 3 times already over the billions of years of it's existence: an asteroid here, a comet there. Maybe this is just another episode in a celestial drama that has gone on for so long that it is beyond our comprehension, and we're only a comparative jaffa rolling down an aisle. Or a prawn on a barbie.
Blonde hair, big punts, amazing life and the ability to get negative when necessary – Garrett Parkes has it covered.
– Words and photos by David Sparkes