Forever seeking new ways to spice up their coverage and keep the viewers watching when the main event goes on hold, the WSL are set to introduce a commentators’ cup in WA.
Although no official announcement has been made yet, the talking heads of the tour are primed for their match ups.
Pottz and Joe Turpel will be the first to sling on jerseys. The alpha male ex pro and the perpetual optimist work well as a commentary duo, but once the siren sounds it will be all out war.
“Joe’s lips move a lot but I’m not convinced he can hit the lip hard enough,” barked Pottz, happy to engage in a little pre heat trash talk. While Pottz will look to turn on the pizzaz and the power, Turps has made it clear he wants to bring the love.
“Look out for my rainbow sprays and electro-glitter hair flicks kids,” commented Joe while sipping a special broth from a unicorn’s horn. “My hand-jive is actually fluent sign language for the hearing impaired. I know Pottz had the moves back in the day but he’ll have no answer for the power of positive surfing.”
Ross Williams is no stranger to thick lipped pits. Photo: Joli
Strider Rasberry Wasilewski is set to square up against Peter Mel and utilize a special mobile option to Cow Bombie. Watch the Bells webcast closely and you will see Pete slyly taking unridden bombs mid-heat to get ready for the challenge. “I mean, if I can win at Mavericks I can definitely milk a cow, right?” enthused Pete when asked about the super heat. “Strider is a loose cannon and I’m a big wave sniper. My wave selection will be immaculate.” Strider answered Pete’s big talking metaphors with a few mixed ones of his own. “I’m going to get out there and slay some dragons and just get primed on the biggest avalanches I can find… Strider will go…I’ll be miked up and bringing you the magic live. Pete can’t keep the puns rolling while he’s in the pit like I can.”
The match up between Ronnie Blakey and Ross Williams will be just as heavily anticipated. Ross is gunning for a heat at the Box where his Hawaiian barrel riding experience will give him a distinct advantage. “Ronnie will be no match for me against the tube monsters at the Box,” insisted Ross with cast-iron confidence.
Meanwhile Blakey, whose cutback is as caramel smooth as his commentary voice, will be hoping for a showdown on the Margarets rights. “We’ll have to wait and see what the judges say about it, but if I can get my rail game happening I’m confident of an upset,” insisted Ron. “I’m not one for claims but I’ve organised the camera crew to roll a close-up on my Colgate smile after every wave, I reckon it’s worth at least 0.5. every time”
The waiting period for the Drug Aware Pro starts on April 8 and the Commentator’s Cup, proudly sponsored by Deep Throat Lozenges, promises to be riveting action for all the April fools who got this far.
WSL To Launch Commentator’s Cup
Forever seeking new ways to spice up their coverage and keep the viewers watching when the main event goes on hold, the WSL are set to introduce a commentators’ cup in WA.
Although no official announcement has been made yet, the talking heads of the tour are primed for their match ups.
Pottz and Joe Turpel will be the first to sling on jerseys. The alpha male ex pro and the perpetual optimist work well as a commentary duo, but once the siren sounds it will be all out war.
“Joe’s lips move a lot but I’m not convinced he can hit the lip hard enough,” barked Pottz, happy to engage in a little pre heat trash talk. While Pottz will look to turn on the pizzaz and the power, Turps has made it clear he wants to bring the love.
“Look out for my rainbow sprays and electro-glitter hair flicks kids,” commented Joe while sipping a special broth from a unicorn’s horn. “My hand-jive is actually fluent sign language for the hearing impaired. I know Pottz had the moves back in the day but he’ll have no answer for the power of positive surfing.”
Strider Rasberry Wasilewski is set to square up against Peter Mel and utilize a special mobile option to Cow Bombie. Watch the Bells webcast closely and you will see Pete slyly taking unridden bombs mid-heat to get ready for the challenge. “I mean, if I can win at Mavericks I can definitely milk a cow, right?” enthused Pete when asked about the super heat. “Strider is a loose cannon and I’m a big wave sniper. My wave selection will be immaculate.” Strider answered Pete’s big talking metaphors with a few mixed ones of his own. “I’m going to get out there and slay some dragons and just get primed on the biggest avalanches I can find… Strider will go…I’ll be miked up and bringing you the magic live. Pete can’t keep the puns rolling while he’s in the pit like I can.”
The match up between Ronnie Blakey and Ross Williams will be just as heavily anticipated. Ross is gunning for a heat at the Box where his Hawaiian barrel riding experience will give him a distinct advantage. “Ronnie will be no match for me against the tube monsters at the Box,” insisted Ross with cast-iron confidence.
Meanwhile Blakey, whose cutback is as caramel smooth as his commentary voice, will be hoping for a showdown on the Margarets rights. “We’ll have to wait and see what the judges say about it, but if I can get my rail game happening I’m confident of an upset,” insisted Ron. “I’m not one for claims but I’ve organised the camera crew to roll a close-up on my Colgate smile after every wave, I reckon it’s worth at least 0.5. every time”
The waiting period for the Drug Aware Pro starts on April 8 and the Commentator’s Cup, proudly sponsored by Deep Throat Lozenges, promises to be riveting action for all the April fools who got this far.
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PREMIUM FEATURES
Water coloured waves: Broken Head – Issue 596
The distilled surfing memories of Dave Sparkes.
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"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."
TRACKS PREMIUM
Get full access to every feature from our print issues, read classic Tracks issues from the 70s, 80s and 90’s, watch all of our classic films & more …
TRACKS PREMIUM
Get full access to every feature from our print issues, read classic Tracks issues from the 70s, 80s and 90’s, watch all of our classic films & more …
CLASSIC ISSUES
August, 1981
A threat to Angourie, the death of vibes, and a tongue in cheek guide on how to become a surf star.
July, 1975
The ’On the Road Issue’, featuring a Larry Bertleman profile, plus Hawaii, California, South America, Orstralia & more.
June, 1975
The ‘Fantasy Issue’ featuring a classic Tony Edwards illustration and a searing bottom turn by Terry Fitzgerald.
February, 1972
The issue that originally featured ‘that turn’ by Michael Peterson. A true collectors edition from the time of ‘Morning of the Earth’.
PREMIUM FILM
Fitty Fitty
This is the last time the original cooly kids were captured together and features some of their best surfing.
GALACTIK TRACKS
Seven free surfers embark on a voyage to boldly go where no man had gone before.
Gathering
The film features the enigmatic and free-thinking Dave Rastovich at home on the Far North Coast of NSW.
Wanderlust
In this quintessentially Australian film, the two friends ride waves with the nation’s best surfers.
PRINT STORE
Unmistakable and iconic, the Tracks covers from the 70s & 80s are now ready for your walls.
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